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Comments:
I mean seriously, I understand your point, but "my bf would get mad at me" is no reason to deceive him. If he gets mad he gets mad, you either work it out or you don't. If she can't be honest about the guy she shouldn't be hanging around with him at all. Unless she is physically afraid her bf will hurt her..knowing someone will be upset at the truth isn't a valid reason not to give it to them. If you feel the bf is acting childish then why would you encourage the OP to act childish in return?
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You might choose to end things differently when you lose interest, but this appears to be his way with you. He'll keep at it until you either get the message or give up trying and break up with him out of frustration.
April 25 -
yed boss:)
ill vote to keep
I like this :D
Hi...im from cleveland ohio im only looking for friendship or a friendly conversation from mens in my own city becus its much easy that way instead of these mens from long distant im fun cool.
You really do owe him an apology. Should invite him over to your place and apologize over a bottle of wine. Make sure to get all decked out, looking nice will go a long way toward proving you're sorry.
If you're going to talk to him ... well ... I guess the best thing would be to be calm & self-possessed. Hard I know. But really Laurynn, you know you're not irrational or hysterical. And you're not asking him to come over and explain himself. So if he feels compelled, well, fine. But that doesn't mean you have to be easily placated or swayed. So I guess I'd say, if he must come in, invite him in for A (that's one) cup of coffee. Tell him you're making it an early night, so you can really only chat for a little while. Listen to what he has to say -- and say as little as you can in return. If he's spouting crap, trying to convince you that you're nuts to be upset, don't respond in kind. Just smile and nod a bit, let him go on. When his hour is up, thank him for coming over, show him to the door and tell him you'll think about what he has said. Make no promises.
There's this guy who has been after me on and off for years now (we work for the same company, different offices.) He's become very predictable . . . to the point where I know when a new "cycle" is about to start with him. To sum up very quickly, he'll suddenly start calling with an "excuse" to call me, then start calling just to talk (at this point he'll start giving me his schedule for the next several days every time I talk to him), then he'll show up where I work with an "excuse" for why he needs to be there, then he'll show up with no excuse, then the fun really starts.
Put another way, if you hadn't told him to stop, he wouldn't have lied. If you had just seen the porn and mentioned it to him without telling him to stop, next time you asked, he probably wouldn't have felt he should lie to spare your feelings. I'm guessing you might fantasize while masturbating...if he told you to stop fantasizing, wouldn't you maybe tell him you had even though you hadn't because you need the fantasy to put you over the edge? But to spare his feelings, you would tell him you had stopped fantasizing. The difference is, he can't check the data files in your head to make sure you weren't lying to him.
Addiction is a progressive disease and your BF fits the mold. He needs help and support- not someone to dump him flat before he tries to seek treatment.